Thanks for taking away the sh**! (The email that made the book)

The Winning Parent

Another Father less stressed! Carlos from Brazil

“How long did it take you to write it?” This is the question I am asked the most about my book The Winning Parent. 

“The truth is it took me about 5 years but the last 5 months, once I had totally committed to the idea of helping families,  I easily marched towards the finish line.”

The change of pace came when I read an amazing book by author Brene Brown called “Daring Greatly“. Simply, a few passages in her book made me realise I was scared to put my work out there in the public and this is why I had made little progress in 5 years.  I realised I was feeling VULNERABLE if it did not sell well. I recognised I was worried about writing a book for parents whilst I wasn’t a parent myself. I was too worried and consequently found ways to delay getting The Winning Parent actually written and published.

Things changed when I got an email from a father from Jersey who had attended one of my workshops whilst I was over there coaching Squash. It was titled:

“Thanks for taking away some of the Sh**!”

After realising it wasn’t a SPAM message, I opened it up. It was an emotional message letting me know how after a couple of simple suggestions of mine, this man had experienced the best weekend of his life with his daughter. He explained how he usually dreaded his weekend trips to the UK mainland with his daughter, as despite positive intentions they always ended up arguing and often abusive to each other. It had put a wedge between him and his wife too and in a nutshell he was resenting the whole junior sport thing. However, due to some simple exercises around PERSPECTIVE and ROLE CLARIFICATION he and his daughter had flipped the whole experience into one of   ‘TEAMWORK’ and ‘ENTHUSIASTIC PLAY’ as he termed it.

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5 months to write it after 5 years of doubts!

He ended the email by thanking me “from the bottom of his heart” and said he was desperate to read my book. “When is it out?” he asked.

AS SOON as I realised that The Winning Parent was a calling to help families get away from the bad parts, the unnecessary tensions, those stressful accusations and hurtful arguments, I finished it and had it released within 5 months. No longer worried about sales, criticism or self doubts I raced through it. My mantra became “If all I do is help 10 families, then it will be completely worth it.” This way I felt a duty to produce something helpful, a book that could genuinely help parents, coaches and most importantly children.

As it turns out now, the book has reached 1000’s of families. I am getting emails and reviews from all over the place thanking me and passing the book on to others.


Moral of this story for me is:

“If your intentions are genuine and you operate from your heart as much as you do your head, then success and enjoyment won’t be far away.”


Danny Massaro

The Winning Parent is available on Amazon worldwide.


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